Family Counselling Through Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT)

Parents often seek therapy for their children because of challenging or worrisome behaviors or emotions. This can be scary and confusing and create tensions or conflict within the family. Strong family bonds are the cornerstone of emotional health, but mental health struggles like anxiety, depression, trauma, and behavioral challenges can disrupt even the closest connections. Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), developed by clinical psychologist Dr. Adèle France, provides a compassionate, evidence-based framework to restore trust, understanding, and resilience within families—especially those with teens and young adults.

What is EFFT?

EFFT is a trauma-informed, strengths-based model of family therapy designed to repair and deepen emotional connections between parents (or caregivers) and their children. The approach uniquely combines emotion coaching and behavior coaching to support lasting change by addressing the emotional experiences underlying challenging behaviors.

“At the heart of EFFT is the belief that emotions are the language of connection and when families learn to understand and respond to these emotions with empathy and skill, healing becomes possible.”
— Mental Health Foundations

Core Components of EFFT

Emotion Coaching: The Language of Connection

Dr. Adèle France emphasizes that emotion coaching is the first essential skill for caregivers in EFFT. It involves recognizing, validating, and guiding children through their emotional experiences, rather than dismissing or minimizing them.

“Emotion coaching teaches parents how to ‘stay with’ their child’s emotional experience, helping them name and make sense of feelings like sadness, fear, or anger. This deepens trust and creates a secure foundation for healing.”
— Adèle France

By becoming emotional coaches, parents create a safe emotional environment where young people feel understood and supported, which reduces anxiety and helps regulate difficult emotions.

Behavior Coaching: Guiding Growth with Clarity and Compassion

Alongside emotional support, behavior coaching helps parents respond to challenging behaviors in ways that encourage responsibility and problem-solving, without resorting to blame or punishment.

“Behavior coaching involves clear, consistent guidance that empowers young people to develop self-control and coping skills. It’s about teaching, not punishing — leading with compassion and firm boundaries.”
— Mental Health Foundations

This balanced approach strengthens family communication and reduces power struggles, paving the way for positive change.

Trauma-Informed, Family-Centered Approach

EFFT recognizes the impact of trauma on emotional regulation and behavior. It provides a safe space where families can explore painful experiences together and build resilience as a unit.

“Healing trauma requires emotional safety and connection. EFFT creates that environment by helping families become each other’s greatest source of support.”
— Adèle France

Who Benefits from EFFT?

• Families with teens and young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma, or behavioral challenges
• Parents and caregivers wanting to improve emotional connection and communication
• Families seeking to heal relational wounds and foster lasting resilience

What to Expect in EFFT Sessions

Your therapist will guide your family through structured, interactive sessions that:

• Explore and articulate the emotions driving behaviors
• Teach and practice emotion coaching and behavior coaching skills
• Repair relational ruptures and rebuild trust
• Address the impact of trauma when relevant
• Equip parents with confidence and tools to support their child’s growth

Sessions focus on collaboration, skill-building, and real-life application to empower your family.

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Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing (EMDR)

What is EMDR?

EMDR utilizes the brain’s natural ability to process, synthesize, and file information. It is a powerful therapy that can help people heal from trauma, anxiety, depression, attachment wounds, unhelpful belief systems, and more. Even though our brain is naturally wired to process and heal, sometimes overwhelming experiences can disrupt this natural system. EMDR can help to unstick painful memories and patterns in thinking so that you can feel more calm, safe, and connected to both yourself and others.

Bilateral stimulation (activating alternating sides of the brain) activates your brain’s natural healing mechanisms and reprocesses distressing experiences. Bilateral stimulation can be done through eye movements, tapping, or sound.

Think of it like this: when something upsetting happens your brain tries to process it. However, if the experience is too overwhelming or traumatic, the processing can get stuck and your brain holds that memory in a raw and unprocessed form. EMDR helps to file that memory away which can reduce emotional charge, physical symptoms, and negative beliefs attached to it.

What Can EMDR Help With?

• Trauma: Whether from a single event or complex, long-term trauma, EMDR can reduce flashbacks, emotional triggers, and distress, often more quickly than traditional talk therapy.
• Anxiety and Panic Attacks: EMDR targets root memories and body responses that fuel anxiety, helping you feel more safe, grounded, and present.
• Depression: EMDR can shift belief systems and emotional blocks from early experiences or trauma that keep you stuck in depression.
• Attachment Wounds: If you struggle with secure relationships, EMDR can heal attachment injuries from early caregiver relationships, improving trust and connection.
• Addiction: EMDR can process emotional pain underlying addictive behaviors, reducing the need for harmful coping mechanisms.

What Makes EMDR Different from Talk Therapy?

If you have tried talk therapy without success or find it hard to verbalize experiences, EMDR might be a good fit. You do not need to retell your full trauma story; much of the processing happens internally with therapist support and guidance.

What to Expect in EMDR Therapy

• History & Preparation: Explore your goals and challenges.
• Stabilization: Learn grounding tools to feel safe and supported.
• Reprocessing: Use EMDR techniques to reprocess specific memories or patterns.
• Integration: Reinforce positive changes and build healthy beliefs and responses.

You always move at your own pace — EMDR is a collaborative, client-centered process.

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Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

What is DBT?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a structured, skills-based therapy helping people manage intense emotions, build healthier relationships, and improve responses to stress. The full DBT model includes weekly skills groups, individual counselling, psychiatry, and therapist consultations. At Quintessence, we offer DBT-informed counselling, pulling from DBT skills tailored to your goals.

DBT teaches living in the moment, managing distress, regulating emotions, and building meaningful relationships.

Dialectical means holding two opposing ideas simultaneously, like “I am doing the best I can” and “I want to grow and do better.” DBT balances acceptance (self-compassion) with change (skill development).

Four Core Components of DBT

1. Mindfulness: Awareness of thoughts, feelings, and urges without judgment.
2. Distress Tolerance: Getting through difficult moments without making things worse.
3. Emotion Regulation: Understanding and managing emotional fluctuations.
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Communicating clearly, setting boundaries, and maintaining self-respect.

What Can DBT Help With?

• Emotion dysregulation
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
• Relationship struggles
• Impulsivity or addictive behaviors
• Anxiety, depression, and trauma

DBT Could Help If

• Emotions feel overwhelming or uncontrollable
• You act impulsively and regret it
• Relationships are chaotic or painful
• You’ve struggled with self-harm or suicidal thoughts
• You want practical tools and strategies

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

What is CBT?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based, practical therapy that explores how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. Unhelpful patterns in thinking or behavior can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or harmful habits. CBT offers tools to break these cycles and create lasting change.

For example, thoughts like “I’m not good enough” may cause anxiety or shame, leading to avoidance that reinforces negative beliefs. CBT helps identify and challenge these thoughts and develop healthier behaviors.

CBT is collaborative and goal-focused; you and your therapist set goals and build skills for everyday life.

What Can CBT Help With?

• Manage anxiety (worry, social anxiety, phobias, panic attacks)
• Manage depression and negative thinking
• Control intrusive thoughts and compulsions
• Cope with stress and burnout
• Build self-esteem and self-compassion
• Break unhealthy patterns like addictions or relationship difficulties

What to Expect in CBT Therapy

Therapy sessions are structured but flexible and client-centered. You’ll reflect, learn, and practice new tools. Homework may be suggested but is not mandatory. Homework can include tracking thoughts, experimenting with behaviors, or reflecting on insights. CBT can be short-term (6-12 sessions) or part of longer therapeutic work.